An open letter to the TSA and the flying public:
Recently there has been much controversy over the new screening methods being employed by the Transportation Security Agency (TSA). These new screening methods include "enhanced pat-downs", which may include genital and breast contact, and "advanced imaging technologies", which employ machines that can let TSA agents see through traveler's clothes, producing "naked" images.
Critics contend that these techniques go to far and seem to be particularly bothered by the potentially sexual nature and overtones, while the TSA says that they are necessary to guarantee traveler's safety.
We would like to offer a modest proposal, to allow TSA to continue to conduct these scans while addressing traveller's fears of real or perceived sexual overtones to the pat-downs and "naked" scanners.
We suggest that all TSA employees who may be involved in performing pat-downs or traveller body imaging, or who select travelers for these screening, undergo a procedure commonly known as "Chemical Castration," a simple, non-surgical procedure wherein the employee would be given medicines and/or hormones that suppress sex drive and urges.
By ensuring that screeners can have no sexual motives for performing these more thorough screenings or selecting particular passengers for examination, travelers can feel comfortable undergoing these screening techniques. Many people who would otherwise object on grounds of religious or personal beliefs will be able to participate, and reduced disagreements over screenings will allow TSA to focus on catching terrorists, making us all safer.
Thus, knowing that the TSA employee can receive no gratification from genital nor breast contact nor from seeing naked images of traveller's body will go a long way to making these screenings more acceptable, and thus chemical castration of TSA screeners is an important step in assuring the safety of our airways from terrorism.
We know that some people may feel this is going to far and places too much of a burden on screeners, or perhaps unfairly even treats TSA employees as criminals, but as TSA director Pistole and many others have said, we must all make sacrifices for security. This is a reversible procedure, and like AIT scanners, chemical castration has been deemed safe by the government.
Finally, we know that some TSA employees may object anyway. While we regret that, we understand, and remind those employees that like flying, working for TSA is a privilege, not a right. We wish all travelers understood the need for enhanced screenings, and all TSA employees understood the need for chemical castration. Fortunately, while not everyone will, travelers do have other options besides air travel, and TSA employees who do not feel comfortable with chemical castration can find other employment. We hope the majority of TSA employees understand that this small sacrifice is necessary for the safety of all of us, and will comply.
- The Committee to Castrate the TSA